Ever watch someone go live and think…I could never do that. I could never talk for that long. I could never feel that comfortable with all those strangers watching me.
It might surprise you, but I felt that way too.
Hitting the record button or the “go live” button and feeling my body go cold, my voice start to shake, and suddenly my perfectly practiced intro ::poof:: gone from my brain.
But…I’m happy to report that after a few tries I not only felt more confident and sounded more confident, but I actually started to ENJOY IT. So much so that I started booking in-person speaking gigs. (Which I never ever EVER thought would happen!)
So today I’m sharing a few ways to sound more confident (even when you’re not feeling it yet) and also how to feel more confident when you show up to sell.
I was chatting with a client recently about her upcoming open enrollment and one of the final things I said to her was – if you don’t sound like you believe in what you’re selling, your audience won’t believe in it either.
And a few days later, I was reading the book The Culture Code (only a couple of chapters in and would already recommend it for building a company or community culture) and they were talking about a study where business students were practicing pitching to fake investors. What they found was that the content of the pitch didn’t matter as much as the confidence and body language of the person delivering the pitch.
Instead of focusing on the viability of the product, the investor’s brains were actually registering other information which influenced them more. Info like – how much does this person believe in this idea? How confident are they when speaking? How determined are they to make the project work?
If they felt like the business owner was confident about their idea, excited about it, and showed that they believed it would truly work, they were more likely to get the investment.
This is so important because it’s essentially what we do as business owners – pitching our products to people who don’t really know us, don’t know our complete history or experience, and so they take a lot of information from how we deliver the message.
And if it’s not coming across confidently then it can start bringing up questions about whether it will really work.
So let’s talk about a few ways to sound more confident even when you’re not feeling it (like in the middle of the launch when you panic over whether anyone else will buy – happens every time no matter how long you’ve been in business) and also how to build confidence around what you’re selling.
1 ➜ Put on your sassy pants
Or your sassy leggings or whatever you like to wear.
What I mean by this is not actually changing your outfit, though that may help, what I mean is get in a confident mood. But that sounds a lot harder than getting in a sassy mood, right? Confidence feels like a personality change, but putting on your sassy pants feels like a costume that you can put on when you need it.
When you get your sassy pants on you’ll…
- speak more clearly
- ask for what you need,
- speak with authority
And you can do it even when you don’t feel confident.
Now sometimes I actually put on sassy accessories – that’s what does it for me. Big earrings, bright lipstick, having a good hair day, even putting on perfume makes me feel more confident. So what makes you feel your best, what could be a trigger for moving into that sassy pants mentality?
You can also do this mentally by using an NLP technique (Neurolinguistic Programming) which attaches a mood to a part of your body. Whenever you feel most confident you can kind of tap it into a part of your body. So you can tap on a specific knuckle every single time you feel like a boss or feel cute or proud of something you accomplished. Tap that same knuckle. Then anytime you need to feel confident you can just tap that same knuckle and your body will get those vibes going for you.
2 ➜ Avoid adding filler words
Filler words sound like: ummmm just maybe possibly try to start sounding a little more confident.
Often we add extra words to downplay what we’re saying or ease the impact of what we’re saying, or just to fill the silence. Confident people are totally cool with silence because they know those extra words take away the power of what they’re saying.
And we women do this A LOT. I’m guilty of it and end up editing out a lot of justs and a littles from my writing.
Here’s an example, instead of saying: The Essentials will just help you learn to start simplifying your marketing.
Which sounds okay, but not very confident.
Instead you should say: The Essentials teaches you to simplify your marketing.
Not maybe, not kind of – it just does.
I found it easiest to focus on removing extra words when editing text and also rewatching videos to see where I usually add extra words. Or picking one word or phrase to remove from your vocabulary.
3 ➜ Stand up
Like literally stand up. You obviously can’t tell because it’s audio but I record my podcast episodes standing up inside my closet. I could probably be set up at my desk but I knew I wanted to stand up to make sure that I had positive high energy in all my episodes. When we sit our bodies start to relax and our energy naturally goes down. And, especially if you’re not talking to anyone or reading a script, it’s difficult to keep that energy up.
4 ➜ Remember your why and get emotional
Remember why you got into business in the first place. Remember what drives you crazy about your industry. Remember how long your clients wait before coming to you for help.
If you know your audience is fucking up and holding themselves back, then your energy needs to say that.
So talk about the mindset things, the strategy things, the industry things that are keeping them stuck. And put your feelings into it.
If I think about how women earn less than men. How Black women, Asian women, Latina women, Native women earn even less…I get more and more pissed. I know that when women earn more, when they have safety and security, the entire world gets better. So teaching marketing isn’t really about the marketing but about the businesses women in my community are able to grow and the way that it positively affects their lives and the lives of the people around them.
And thinking about that before I go live or do a podcast or even write an Instagram caption helps my content come across more confident and have a bigger impact.
Don’t be afraid of the emotions that come up when you do dig into the deeper why and the impact your business can have. Being emotional and vulnerable can feel uncomfortable, but it’s often the most confident thing you can do because it’s brave to be open and honest especially in online business where there is a lot of smoke and mirrors.
And lastly ➜ practice
I see a lot of you putting off speaking on video and selling because it’s awkward and you don’t really know what to say. But saying ANYTHING is more important than getting it perfect or having a script.
I didn’t sound like this when I first started doing video. I was awkward as hell and would re-record things over and over again. So a reminder, if you’re thinking you can never sound as confident as I do – I’ve been at it for 9 years. That is a lot of practice. Going live actually helped me feel confident quickly because there’s no editing, so I got comfortable just being myself. The more you put yourself out there NOW, the quicker you’ll sound confident and feel confident.
So I want to know what helps you feel confident when you show up to speak to your audience. Do you have actual sassy pants? For my business veterans – how long did it take you to start feeling confident or see a boost in sales because your audience believed in what you were saying?
Find me over on Instagram @xosarahmorgan, look for the Episode 62 post and let’s discuss!