This week we are talking about confidence! Specifically showing up as the face of your business. Because that is the name of the game now. People want to know who they’re paying and if their values align with you and your business. Not just if your product or service will work.
You’ll be hearing from Natasha Samuel an expert in growing your business with Instagram and Becky Mollenkamp a mindset coach focused on self-compassion. They’ve got some great stories about finding their confidence which I know you’ll love.
First I’ll share a little bit of my own experience getting confident as the face of my business.
This is not like a light switch you flip and suddenly feel confident. I know some of you have been following me for years and you might not realize that even though I was showing up often and my face was on everything — I was still very uncomfortable behind the scenes and it took me years to be able to show up how I do now.
In fact, the first time I created a course and recorded videos, I ran it for one session, and then I completely redid all 12 videos because I didn’t like the way I looked and sounded. Looking back – that was such a waste of time.
Now I will literally post a story from my couch in the morning, in my PJs, no makeup, crazy hair, no filters. Just because I have information my audience needs to know. I don’t even think about how I look now because I’ve realized how little it actually matters.
But the key for me to get confident and showing up is posting it anyway. Being like, “I said that in a weird way. I have a huge zit on my chin. Why does my hair look like that?” and I post it anyway. Once you get in the habit of showing up you’ll find out that your audience is actually excited to see you. Then you get to know your audience and you’re just showing up to talk to your friend on the internet.
So there’s no light switch moment where you’re suddenly going to feel confident, it’s getting comfy by posting videos and photos over and over again. Every time you get one little drop of confidence until you suddenly find yourself on the couch, in your PJs, making videos.
There was also a little feeling of narcissism or feeling egotistical every time I made a video or was taking selfies – like, who am I to show up and tell people to listen to me? That is something that’s ingrained in some of us from childhood, thanks to the patriarchy, continuously telling women and girls to be quiet, be nice, don’t brag, don’t show off, don’t show up in this way or that way or people will get the wrong idea. We’re told to be careful with how we look and how we present ourselves. And that is some hot bullshit if I ever heard it.
One thing that helped me was to journal about the feelings or thoughts that showed up or the concerns I had about what other people would think. And untying some of that bs that was holding me back.
Now let’s hear from Natasha
Hello, I’m Natasha of Shine with Natasha and the host of the Shine Online Podcast. I’m an Instagram strategist that helps business owners build their brands on the ‘gram with a video strategy that’s fulfilling and fun without the overwhelm. As we all know, confidence is such a huge part of Instagram video and even your favorite content, creators and educators, myself included, have struggled with showing up and truly humanizing our brands on the platform.
I mean, it’s very awkward to talk to your phone, right? But from not even wanting to start my Instagram account in the first place to now showing up on all the Instagram video types to see major results for my business, like scaling my revenue and truly being seen as an authority in my industry, which has led to dream opportunities for my business.
I really noticed that to see those types of results I’ve had to make a few shifts that have really helped me boost my own confidence, and I want to share them with you. The first thing is the biggest mindset shift that it’s not about me. I was actually being selfish by entertaining a lot of the thoughts that we have of what will people say? What will people think? I don’t look great today. I’m not qualified to speak on this. If you notice, all of those things start with I, and they are completely taking away from the people and the community that you are connecting with and reaching on Instagram. When I started to shift those thoughts from really worrying about myself to really thinking about how could I connect with my audience – How can I serve people better? How can I be a great example for other people? – It kind of makes all those insecurities truly go away.
I also practiced. This is the biggest thing I always get asked – What is your biggest tip for getting better at video? Honestly, you get more comfortable and confident when you practice talking on video, filming video clips, hosting your first Instagram live, which I know can sound all very scary and intimidating. You have to practice to get better at it.
This is really crazy. I scrolled back to the archives and I found my first Instagram real, my first Instagram story, even, which was the first time I really showed my face on Instagram. I was a mess. My hand was shaking. My phone was shaking. I mean, it was so apparent that I wasn’t comfortable yet. I didn’t know how to articulate my thoughts and teach on video. Over the years I’ve really gotten uncomfortable and challenged myself and failed and messed up and showed up imperfectly. It’s so easy to see the shifts that have happened.
Even with Instagram reels – which is a new type of video content, I was already creating videos by the time reels came out. It was so interesting when I remixed my first reel a whole year later. Without even saying anything, my community even noticed. They were like, wow, you speak so much confidently! It wasn’t a big, new secret thing I was doing.
You’ll learn the skill set of filming, recording, talking to camera, articulating your thoughts, scripting your videos, outlining your content. Yes. There’s a skillset side of things, but just by doing it, things just become easier. That’s the most actionable tip I can give you today is just start. Whether it means trying something new, just trying altogether. Practicing over the four years I’ve been on Instagram has been the number one way that has made me more confident.
Another thing that has really helped me with this really big shift in boosting my own confidence is leaning into my own strengths and what really makes me different. I think on all social media, especially on Instagram, it’s so easy to consume and think that you have to be creating and showing up a certain way. I think this kind of comes back to all those mindset struggles you might have around video is that, well, I’m not outgoing so I’m too shy for video, or I’m not good at doing lives. You know, I don’t know how to do this. I’m only really good at that. I think that’s really where you want to lean into your own strengths and understand the difference between something being uncomfortable because you have it practice. You’ve never done it or something. Maybe you’re really great at having conversations. Maybe lives are going to be the perfect fit for you. Maybe you really like documenting your day and a story is going to be better. Maybe you like to connect one-on-one to people so adding in polls and really creating content that’s going to provoke people to reply and react with their content is going to feel a lot more authentic. Maybe you’re just into the short, sweet, quick wins storytelling on reels. Maybe you really like humor, and reels would be your jam. I think it really is helpful to lean into what are your strengths and how that can come to life on Instagram.
This also comes down to finding what makes you different? I remember when I first started showing up on Instagram, I really thought I had to be perfectly polished. I had to always be wearing makeup or a button-down shirt when that’s really not my brand. That’s not how I am. A lot of people know on stories I’m probably just in my comfy clothes, sharing my matcha, very relaxed because that’s how my brand is. That’s how I want to be perceived. Everyone’s different. It’s important to understand what are those connection points? How can you be more authentically yourself? Because yes, that’s going to mean you’re not for everyone, but it’s really what’s going to humanize your brand and show how you’re different from the other person that’s doing exactly what you’re doing. With every industry, there are many, many options for your ideal clients to purchase from. What makes you different is really you and how you show up in that way.
The last shift that really helped me boost my confidence when showing up for my brand on Instagram is really the understanding that by not showing up, I was truly missing out on opportunities to sell, to connect, to collaborate, to serve my audience. When you really realize that you’re almost halting your own growth, it made me realize it was just such a non-negotiable and that moving past those uncomfortable feelings was absolutely worth it.
I really hope that those shifts were insightful for you and really inspire you to shine even brighter on video. I hope to connect with you over on my very yellow side of Instagram @shinewithnatasha.
Thank you, Natasha! I love that you ended by talking about how not showing up is holding people back. I see that happen so often and they don’t even realize because they’re still really busy trying to find a way to market and show up that doesn’t feel uncomfortable and avoid video until the last possible moment When that could be the thing that kick-starts their business.
Next up – Becky – she’s got such a great story to share
Hi, I’m Becky Mollencamp. I’m a coach. I work with women, femmes, and thems who are ready to unpack patriarchal conditioning so they can stop living the life they think they’re supposed to and start defining success on their own terms. I’m super excited to talk about how I got confident showing up as the face of my brand.
I think the best way for me to do that is to tell you a little story about a time I cried during a live video. I was a new mom so it was about four and a half years ago. I had an infant. I was breastfeeding. I wasn’t sleeping a lot. I was trying to run a brand, trying to run my company and all the things involved in that.
Also wanting to be a decent wife and was feeling the weight of all of it and realizing I didn’t have a lot of friends because I didn’t have time for it. That I just felt tired, so tired and so isolated, and alone in that and thinking that there was something wrong with me that I was failing as a mom and business owner. Why couldn’t I get it right?
So one morning – against my better judgment – I logged into my Facebook group that had a few thousand members at the time and went live. I just told them everything. How I felt like I was failing at being a mom, being a business owner, being a coach. How I just was getting it all wrong and didn’t have any answers for them.
I didn’t have a lesson. It wasn’t a cute, tidy little presentation. It was just me being really vulnerable. As soon as I stopped the live, I thought, oh, what did I just do? That was probably a really bad idea. How are people going to trust me to be a coach if they don’t trust me to have my life together? If I’m telling them that I’m feeling awful.
Instead, I got the most incredible feedback from the people in my community. One person after another, one mom after another saying thank you. Thank you for being so real. Thank you for putting words to things that I’ve been experiencing. Thank you for showing up and being yourself. Too many other people that we know that are coaches or that are out there trying to help other women and moms are making it seem like they have it all figured out and it just makes us feel worse. To hear from somebody that they are also struggling really feels good.
That one moment. That one live video. That one time, crying on camera, taught me so much about what it means to be the face of your brand and that means not just telling them you have all the answers to their problems, but that you actually understand their problems because you have, and maybe even continue to experience their problems.
It’s about making people feel seen, heard, loved, and that’s what gave me the confidence to keep doing it.
I needed one experience, which for me was born out of absolute frustration and exhaustion to realize that people just want their leaders, the faces of the brands that they trust, to be honest with them. To reflect them back to them, to make them feel seen.
For me, the confidence came in doing it, showing up, and getting incredible feedback from the people that were in my world saying this is what I needed. My little pithy advice is go be yourself and doing that and hearing from people that it helped them will build your confidence.
Yessss, GO BE YOURSELF! I love that advice and it feels really relieving to me because being myself and not overthinking everything takes so much less effort and stress than trying to get everything perfect.
The other thing I want to mention is that this is just the 3 of us but my bet is if I asked 100 women this same question you’d get very similar answers. It was hard at the beginning. It’s really easy to forget that when people have a really polished online presence, but I guarantee most people were really uncomfortable at the beginning. They all probably still have moments where they don’t feel like a rockstar CEO and they just post it anyway.
Just start, be yourself because your audience is full of real humans just like you, keep posting, and at some point (probably sooner than you expect) you will feel more confident.